🔗 Share this article

On occasion, a 22-year-old from Los Angeles is convinced he is “the most exceptional individual alive”. As a diagnosed narcissist, his periods of extreme self-importance often turn “detached from reality”, he states. You’re riding high and you tell yourself, ‘Everyone’s going to know that I’m better than them … I will achieve remarkable feats for the world’.”

For Spring, these times of heightened ego are typically followed by a “sudden low”, a period when he feels sensitive and ashamed about his actions, making him highly sensitive to negative feedback from others. He began to think he might have NPD after looking up his traits online – and subsequently evaluated by a clinician. Yet, he doubts he would have accepted the diagnosis unless he had independently formed that understanding personally. “If you try to tell somebody that they have the condition, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he notes – especially if they experience beliefs of dominance. They inhabit a fantasy reality that they made for themselves. And in that mindset, No one compares to me and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Defining The Condition

While people have been labelled as narcissists for over 100 years, definitions vary what is meant by the diagnosis. “Everyone calls everybody a narcissist,” states an expert in narcissism, noting the word is “applied too broadly” – but when it comes to a clinical identification, he notes many people hide it, as there is so much stigma linked to the disorder. A narcissist will tend to have “an inflated view of oneself”, “difficulty understanding others’ feelings”, and “a strategy of using people to bolster one’s self-esteem through actions such as seeking admiration,” the specialist explains. Those with NPD may be “deeply egotistical”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he emphasizes.

I’ve never cared about anyone really, so relationships weren’t a priority relationships seriously

Variations by Gender in Narcissism

Although a significant majority of people diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder are men, studies points out this statistic does not mean there are fewer narcissistic women, but that women with NPD is frequently manifests in the vulnerable narcissism type, which is less commonly diagnosed. “Men’s narcissism tends to be somewhat tolerated, as with everything in society,” says a 23-year-old who posts about her dual diagnosis on digital platforms. It’s fairly common, the two disorders are comorbid.

Individual Challenges

“I really struggle with dealing with feedback and rejection,” she says, since when I’m told that the problem is me, I either go into self-protection or I withdraw entirely.” Despite having this response – which is sometimes referred to as “narcissistic injury”, she has been working to manage it and take advice from her close relationships, as she aims to avoid falling into the harmful behaviour of her earlier years. My past relationships were toxic to my partners during adolescence,” she reveals. Via therapeutic interventions, she has been able to reduce her narcissistic traits, and she notes she and her partner “operate with an understanding where I told him, ‘Should I make a harmful comment, when I use toxic language, call it out {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

Her childhood mainly in the care of her father and explains there was an absence of supportive figures in her youth. It’s been a process of understanding over the years what is and is not appropriate to say when arguing because I lacked that guidance as a kid,” she comments. Every insult was fair game when my family members were criticizing me when I was growing up.”

Root Causes of The Condition

Personality disorders tend to be associated with difficulties as a child. “There is a genetic component,” says a consultant psychiatrist. But, when someone develops narcissistic traits, it is often “connected with that person’s unique upbringing”. Those traits were “their strategy in some ways to manage during childhood”, he states, when they may have been overlooked, or only shown love that was based on meeting certain expectations. They then “continue to use those same mechanisms as adults”.

Like several of the individuals with NPD, one individual thinks his parents “could also have the disorder. The adult shares when he was a child, “their needs came first and their work and their social life. So it was like, keep your distance.” When their attention turned to him, it came in the form of “a great amount of pressure” to achieve academic success and professional advancement, he says, which made him feel that if he didn’t meet their standards, he wasn’t “acceptable.

As he grew older, none of his relationships lasted. I didn’t truly value about anyone really,” he admits. As a result, relationships weren’t relationships seriously.” He didn’t think loving someone, until he met his current partner of three years, who is also dealing with a personality disorder, so, like him, finds it hard to manage feelings. She is “really understanding of the stuff that goes on in my head”, he says – it was actually she who initially thought he might have NPD.

Seeking Help

After a visit to his general practitioner, he was directed to a clinical psychologist for an evaluation and was informed of his condition. He has been recommended for psychological counseling through national services (ongoing counseling is the only treatment that has been proven effective NPD patients, specialists note), but has been on the treatment delay for a year and a half: “They said it is likely to occur maybe February or March next year.”

Disclosure was limited to a few individuals about his NPD diagnosis, because “there’s a big stigma that the disorder equates to toxicity”, but, personally, he has accepted it. “It helps me to comprehend my actions, which is positive,” he comments. All of the people have acknowledged their condition and are seeking help for it – which is why they agree to talk about it – which is likely not typical of all people with the disorder. But the presence of NPD content creators and the rise of digital groups point to {more narcissists|a growing number